Making a Murder...er...I mean, Musician

Unless you somehow have survived the entirety of your life without social media or actually more importantly, Netflix, you have undoubtedly heard of the outlandishly popular docu-series  released this past December, Making a Murderer.

Before I continue, if you're on the fence about watching it--just do it. Fair warning: if you have little to no self control like myself, make sure you have a charger, a reasonable supply of food, no prior pending social engagements, and the next 10+ hours of your life to kiss goodbye, not to mention additional time for googling and sitting in silence after you've finished the series, and also an allotted recovery period.

What I'm here to talk about today is the unlikely connection you might find with the series and the profession of teaching music. Or teaching in the public school system, rather.  You might first be thinking, how could you find ANY connection between these two things? Perhaps I wouldn't have if I hadn't hounded my older and much more intelligent attorney brother. Thank you for bestowing your legal knowledge on me, Scotty K. You're the bomb. All things aside, there is one gigantic commonality, or rather LACK of commonality between the aforementioned, and it is a big, fat problem for us as a society: a lack of a presumption of goodness.

Now the lawyers in the series will tell you it's a presumption of innocence. That's fine. For these purposes, the words are interchangeable. Also a quick back up: if you aren't familiar with the premise of the series, basically, a man is released after 18 years in prison from a conviction of a rape (newfound DNA proves he did not commit the crime and the conviction was wrong), and two years later, he sues the police department for damages of the 18 years of his life spent for a crime he did not commit. It is also suggested that the department was aware that his conviction could have been doubtful as quickly as just 9 years after his sentencing--but the department did nothing about it. Anyway, just as he is about to win this lawsuit, he is accused, and later, tried and found guilty of the murder of a 25 year old female photographer. The big question is: did the county police department frame this guy in order to get out of a 36 million dollar lawsuit?

To me, and I think to most, the overarching theme isn't "is he guilty or innocent?" It's that this man was not given the presumption of innocence that this justice system preaches: you are innocent until PROVEN guilty. Too many people around and involved in this man's trial already had their minds made up: he was guilty. And we will find him guilty. There was no innocence. He was a horrible human from the start, and his shady past just paved the blood-red road to him actually becoming a murderer. No one gave him the benefit of the doubt and no one for a single second considered, hey, maybe goodness lies beneath a rough (okay, razor sharp and dangerous) edge. We looked at his family, his residence, his socioeconomic status, his his past convictions (such as animal cruelty and, I think...streaking? I dunno, I binged watched this, forgive me), and one giant wrongful conviction, and said "Yep, considering where he comes from, and maybe from what he saw in jail all those years, yeah. He probably did it."

Okay, you're still with me, and you're still thinking "What on earth has this got to do with teaching music?" I'm getting to that. What we saw in Steven Avery's case: the lack of a presumption of goodness, is what I see everyday in our public school system. In all subject matter, but also in music. We see kids from broken homes, abusive parents, with no money, no support, no clean clothes, no healthy food on the table, or maybe even no food on the weekends.

And we then ask these kids to do math. To sing the right notes. To sit still. To pay attention for 7 hours straight. To follow directions. To perform at the same level as the kid with a happy home and loving parents. And guess what? A majority of the time, those kids DON'T do math. They DON'T sing the right notes. They DON'T sit still. And they cause a major pain in their teachers butts by acting out, causing problems, saying rude, hateful and disrespectful things. They don't perform well in school, they're rude and hateful and awful to everyone around them, they act like they don't want to be there, and they don't give you a single scrap of evidence that they have any goodness in them whatsoever.

But the thing about teaching is you have to presume goodness. You have to presume ability. You have to say to these kids "I know you can do it" because you might be the ONLY one who will ever say to them. The most heartbreaking moment in this Netflix series for me was not the murder, although I am not making light of Theresa Halbach's murder in anyway and her family is in my thoughts and prayers. Rather, the most heartbreaking moment was hearing Brendan Dassey, Steven's nephew who was convicted of aiding in the murder, say to his mother:

"I don't know mom. I'm really stupid...I guessed [about the details of the murder], it's what I do with my homework all the time."

A kid telling his mother that he believes he is stupid. That he believes he is worthless, essentially...that is powerfully heartbreaking. You'll find out in the details of the case that Brendan does in fact have a  lower than average IQ. But when he calls himself stupid in a phone call to his mother, he doesn't just mean "a low IQ." He means stupid. He means unimportant. He means others do not presume him to be good. Who told him that? Who let this kid believe he had nothing good to him? Was it his mother? Was it his teachers?

In music, a lot of people believe that you either have it or you don't. You either can sing, or you can't. There is no in-between. Now, the facts behind why this is wildly untrue is a blog post for another day. To shorten it: music must be taught. Good, proper, correct singing must be taught. And just like ANY other skill, some people come by it naturally, while others have some difficulties. Though I am still a first year teacher, and I by no means believe I am anywhere CLOSE to "having it down," I do believe I have one very important lesson learned about being a successful teacher: you must, absolutely must presume goodness in your students. You have to believe in them.

Yes, I have students like Brendan Dassey. I have students like Steven Avery. I have students that come from a rough part of town, who have a bad past. a bad attitude, dirty clothes, a low IQ, no resources at home, no knowledge of how to even HOLD a piece of music, much less sing one, and I, as their teacher, am supposed to not only make up for the lack of food and shelter and hygiene for these kids, but ALSO get them singing like angels by the fall, winter, and spring concerts. What if I don't succeed in doing that? What if the only thing I can give these kids is a warm classroom to sit in for 50 minutes? A hug? A high five? A smile? And because of that, they perform less than spectacularly at their concerts. Or maybe, they don't even show up to their concerts, and I'm left alone and embarrassed onstage, failing to succeed in creating a beautiful-sounding choir.

Yes, these students have the ability to make me "look bad," just as Steven Avery had the ability to make the Manitowoc County Police Department "look bad" by wrongfully convicting him in 1985. I could play it safe and kick all the Steven Avery's and Brendan Dassey's out. I could ensure that only the best singers make it into my program. I could save myself from being humiliated by only giving the top kids a shot at making music, that way we'll always be sparkling and singing beautifully--not a single ugly note in my choir.

But I'm not going to do that. I'm going to presume goodness in each and every one of my students, just as we should have presumed innocence in this homicide case. I'm going to believe in my kids--I'm going to believe they have the power to sing and the power to reach their goals--both musically and in other endeavors. Somedays might be better than others. But that is how teaching goes.

Could Steven Avery be guilty? Yes. He absolutely could. Is it possible he has no goodness inside of him? I guess so. Is it possible the Manitowoc County Police department could have looked really bad if they had paid for sending someone to prison for 18 years for a crime they did not commit? Yes. Possible and probable. But man, we as humans have way too much pride and too little belief that there is good in others.

Dean Strang stated to reporters after the jury sentencing, "I hope Brendan is given a greater presumption of innocence than his adult uncle was." It turns out he wasn't. We are clearly still learning as a society, how to give people that presumption of innocence. We are still learning how to see the good in all people. I hope you see the good you didn't think you'd find in someone, today.

An 18th Birthday Surprise

Over this past winter break of my sophomore year at KU, a good friend of mine turned 18. We decided to surprise her by blindfolding her, kidnapping her, making her think she was in a car with a bunch of street thugs attempting a drug deal, and then finally leading her back to my house where a classic, wholesome birthday surprise party was held. Pretty normal, right? I mean whatever. I can't say I hated this idea, and I take most credit. While I won't go into detail about the first three steps in pulling off this giant shenanigan, I would like to tell you about the main attraction of sweets and eatery-- the cake!

I used a Betty Crocker Moist Lemon Cake mix from a box, Abby's favorite flavor (who has time to make cakes from scratch? Also, I don't own a sifter. It's right up there on my "things to buy after college graduation list", probably somewhere in between deep fat fryer and an iron.) I baked two 8" rounds, both came out domed at the top, which posed a problem for icing. I shaved off the top of one to be able to stack them on top of each other, flat bottom onto shaved top. I kept the dome on the top one, because I thought it may turn out alright, also, I didn't want to waste anymore CAKE, duh!

The icing is a simple mixture my mom taught me just off the top of her head, no recipe card needed at all (what that woman has stored in her mind I'm continuously in awe of, I mean, was it not hip in her day to write things down? how does she remember all this??).
A whole can of shortening
At least a cup of powdered sugar, depending on how much you're making
Water to moisten, NOT too much
Food coloring if desired

This frosting is not only pretty tasty, but very stiff and perfect for icing! Here is the finished product!



I may have put too much frosting in between the layers. SCRATCH THAT, no such thing, am I right??













And of course, I know you wanted to see her surprised face after the kidnapping occurred, before cake went into bellies. Please take note of the scary looking men who drove her around for 30 minutes and made sweet, precious, innocent Abby listen to dirty gangsta rap. We really threw her for a loop, let me tell ya!

*note: these boys are all of quality and would never, I repeat NEVER, actually harm someone or participate in drug/gang activity. I trusted them completely with Abby's 18 years of life.









I'm so excited to be able to dig further into the depths of random kitchens (and lets be honest, really to just have a kitchen of my own) and see what other fun baking journeys I can get myself into. I must say, this one was one of the most memorable, and I hoped everyone involved had as much fun as I did!

Oh my blog!

I decided to start this blog as a way to organize my creative thoughts and ideas. At the ripe ol' age of 20, I sort of always thought blogging was silly and just a fad for this "kids these days" (jokes, people. I still sleep until noon whenever possible and consider mac 'n cheese a wholesome breakfast so I'm obviously a mature and qualified adult), but after doing some research and pathetically prodding my extremely artsy, trendy, and completely qualified creative pals, I've now come to the conclusion that blogging can be used as an incredibly revolutionary for gaining knowledge, sparking inspiration, and a tool to make the quirky things that go on in the mind of Chelsea Koksal tangible and perhaps somewhat useful. I'm excited to have an outlet to organize, learn, and grow. Also, not taking advantage of my 21st century place in time just seems absurd. Thanks to whomever you were for inventing this Internet ma-jig, and here goes nothing!